Erectile dysfunction, or ED, is the inability to maintain an erection that is firm enough to be sexually effective. It can have a negative impact on any relationship. ED affects both partners and the individual who is experiencing it. Couples can cope with ED by working together and communicating openly.
Understanding Erectile Dysfunction
First, you need to understand ED better. ED affects up to 30 millions men in the United States. Contrary to popular opinion, ED isn’t always psychological. Erectile dysfunction can be caused by a variety of health conditions, including high blood pressure and diabetes. Several factors can contribute to erectile dysfunction, including certain prescription medications, excessive alcohol consumption, smoking and fatigue.
ED can happen at any age. Erection problems are also common. For some men ED is more frequent and can last for months or even years. This causes stress in relationships. It is important to understand that ED is a medical problem and not a reflection of virility or attraction.
Communication is Vital
Communication that is open and honest between partners will help them to better understand each other’s perspectives on ED. It is important that the person with ED explains to their partner what they are feeling, both physically and emotionally. Talk about how ED can make you feel anxious, frustrated, ashamed or worried that your partner will not be satisfied.
Partner’s must also be supportive. Recognize your loved one’s vulnerability and self-consciousness about ED. They will feel even worse if you get upset or take it personally. Create an atmosphere where both of you feel comfortable talking about concerns and options. If you are having trouble communicating, consider seeing a therapist.
Seek medical input
A doctor’s visit is a must for anyone who has persistent erectile problems. A medical evaluation will help identify any underlying medical conditions and give you access to treatments like medication or devices that can improve your erection. A doctor can help reduce performance anxiety by having an open and non-judgmental conversation.
Offer to make the appointment for them or to accompany them. Avoid guilting or pressuring your partner. You can simply tell them that you care about their health and wish to see them better. You can also explore your own medical visit to eliminate relationship issues.
Focus on intimacy, not sex
Couples with ED may want to place more emphasis on their emotional intimacy and overall pleasure. Strengthen your relationship by doing things like holding hands, cuddling, massages, baths and showers together, nature walks, or taking a bath. Discover new ways to love and be romantic without the need for sex.
Don’t neglect your sexual life. Erections are natural and fluctuate. They may work some days. When ED symptoms are present, try to maintain intimacy by using acts such as oral sex or vibrators, mutual masturbation and/or oral sex.
Counseling is available if needed
Unresolved issues in a couple’s relationship, such as anger, mistrust or lack of communication, can exacerbate ED. A sex or counselor can provide a neutral environment to discuss these issues. You can improve your sexual and emotional intimacy with guidance.
A therapist can also help you to adjust your expectations, express your needs, reduce anxiety and develop techniques to overcome ED together. Consider going to counseling yourself if your partner is unwilling to do so. A therapist can provide valuable insights even if they refuse.
Encourage healthy lifestyle habits
It has been proven that small lifestyle changes like eating healthy foods, exercising regularly and limiting alcohol consumption, as well as quitting smoking and getting enough rest can help treat ED. It is important to propose healthy changes from a caring place, and not criticize. Offer to go on walks, runs or gym trips with them.
Don’t make activities into demands. It is important to make a healthier life style a shared, positive experience. This should not be a source of conflict. Anger and guilt-tripping are not as effective as patience and positive reinforcement.
Consider Medical Aids If Appropriate
If recommended by your doctor, medical devices such as vacuum pumps, penile implants, or medications like Viagra, Cialis or Levitra could be an option for moderate to severe erectile problems. Partner can offer support by attending appointments, filling prescriptions or assisting with the use of devices. Avoid pressuring your loved ones if they don’t want to use these options.
Keep the spark alive however you can
Do not neglect your own needs when working to overcome ED. If intercourse is difficult, discuss creative ways that you and your partner could remain intimate while satisfying one another. You can try oral stimulation, external touch, vibrators, toys or just being sensual in new ways.
Relationships are more than sex. Closeness is important in all aspects of your relationship. This intimacy strengthens relationships, regardless of what happens in the bedroom.
Don’t go it alone
Working together, being open and communicating with your partner is key to dealing with ED. This will require effort, patience, and some trial-and-error. When it comes to managing ED, there will be good and bad days. It is important to work together as a group. You should not take out your frustrations on each other. You can overcome ED with each other’s compassion and determination.
